his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
