Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
