They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
