If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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