I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
