One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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