If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
