i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
