just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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