so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
NoShamevember. You game?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
