U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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