dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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