problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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