maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize