i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize