Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
