Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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