In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just want nice things and good sex
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
