If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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