We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
