he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
