omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
