I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize