Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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