He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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