U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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