Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dear god my vagina.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
