Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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