Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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