I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
