my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
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just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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