i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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