Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Randomize