he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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