I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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