Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
