those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
