Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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