So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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