Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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