Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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