Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
