Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
