i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
