How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize