I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
