Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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