I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
