Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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