Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
A+ Viking dick
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
