Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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