Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
