She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize