Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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