she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No subtext here. People are naked.
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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