Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
