the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
