he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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