I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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