i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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