he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
