obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
