I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
