If that was your dad, he is hot
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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