i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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