he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
