Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
