So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
